And sometimes a man just needs a tough woman around like Patti to reign himself in. Her far sightedness in changing my flight home before resorting to canceling my credit cards possibly saved me from needing a full body recharge. Me thinks that the human body is probably wired similar to like my iPhone whereby at my age, one should stop going below the necessary 20 percent charge. And yes regularly running oneself down to the 0 percent level can prematurely lead to a body’s demise.
Patti seems to see or feel things from as far away as California and all the way to Alaskan waters. My presence home is just not needed but, required. The dog and grandchildren now also demand it.
I do agree that a man’s perspective is far different from a woman’s perspective in ways such as adventure traveling. For years I quoted Hunter S Thompson in his saying that Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy Shit, what a ride!”
That’s how most all of my friends since my military days roll. And that’s also how my motorcycle ride friends starting with the likes of Todd, Tom, Rodney, Flying Brian (especially) Roberto 1, Joey (even though he wasn’t there) Tyedye Keith (check) Kevin Ho, Gpskevin and many others continue to roll.
They say that on average you won’t find that a house becomes a home unless there’s a woman who enters into the life of a man. I agree, we’re far too worn out by the time that we get around to the household stuff, to get organized far enough to achieve that homely feeling.
And the other reason for keeping a good woman around is for her beauty. Inside and out. She is flower like in that at times, one has to return from an adventure to admire her beauty and to nourish her with souvenirs like an Alaskan Eskimo Ulu knife set. Women are just what the doctor ordered to add beauty to a man’s life.
And let me also add her 6th sense. They’re all blessed with it. Why just this morning I was told to keep an eye out for? What? The dog Lexi she now has to remind me, hasn’t pooped since yesterday; and she’s got her on diarrhea medicine, for eating dropped apricots, pits and all.
Yes, it is somewhat true if not wrong but, you won’t see me not letting a dog, be a dog. My little woman, if she would’ve been born only a century earlier she would’ve easily qualified herself as a “female computer,” a term used in the late 19th century for women who did calculations as a job.
Patti can easily calculate the number of days that I was now gone and the amounts spent in excess of lodging, food and fuel. And I can’t seem to even keep track of the number of daily dispatches that I am cranking out, just for this one Alaskan ride. In my defense, it’s only now just halfway over. Blame it on Todd or Roberto or something like that 24 hours of Alaskan daylight that just keeps one going like that Energizer bunny. He just keeps going and going and going…….He’s just a mechanical toy rabbit wearing sunglasses and blue and black striped flip-flops; not that far similar from the way that I’m now dressed; except my pants for some reason continue to smell fishy.
Earlier as I sat on an Alaskan airplane flight home that flew me from Anchorage, Alaska to Seattle, Washington and a connecting flight to Ontario, California; I briefly look over the old bookends sleeping ever so tightly on both my sides. And where are their significant others I now wonder?
One wore a huge covid mask, all I could see was her forehead. She held tightly onto her coin purse that rested on her dare I say, groin area. Her legs were outstretched as far as that front row area allowed so she must’ve been at least 5’6” tall. Her short cut hair I thought needed a good dye job, a long long time ago. Maybe she no longer thought it necessary to do so, or maybe she now took the road traveled alone.
Forrest Gump in the movie Forrest Gump once said that you can tell allot about people; just by looking at the shoes they wear. Her shoes looked suede like to me, the kind you have to get down there to tie up with laces before you can get moving again. They still make lace up shoes?
In a perfect world either one of these women would wake up, offer me a big box full of chocolates, say something like, life is like a box of chocolates, quick take several, and return themselves right back to sleep.
My beard is now all grey and grizzly Adams like. My head is accustomed to wearing a Ranger Tug ball cap. Perhaps, I truly did start to nest while in Alaska?
And in my defense, twenty four hours of daylight can do strange things to the human body. I really do think now that I was at that 0 percent and that her 6th sense knew it!
What is my routine? Get up almost precisely at 0530. Coffee black for breakfast and anything nearby such as a roll, brownie, banana or even eggs. This is the first of my usual two breakfasts. Having daily habits can be somewhat comforting and makes one feel safe.
In the morning I practice my one, two. threes. One is the smartphone, two is the not so secret wallet that I wear around my waist like a money belt and three are usually keys for travel and transportation. Today I only travel with one and two. The truck I was driving is in Preston, Washington and the motorcycle I rode in Alaska that I affectionately called the little Klondike is patiently waiting for me to return in less than two weeks. We’re manly men and Alaska is just too big to do in one ride. I was gone for 30 days if you don’t now recall.
Getting older now means wearing glasses and taking pills. Perhaps one day my 1,2,3 list will expand to 4,5 and possibly even more. But for now hey, I’m still a real manly man and now cruising on Alaska Airlines at something like 500 miles per hour.
There’s no more sore buttt, biting mosquitoes and my hands are not freezing. I am starting to relax and the cramps in my hands, back and chest are starting to go away.
As I look out at the scenery beyond the Boeings 737-900 port side engine I can see snowy capped mountains that we are flying over.
One thing that you don’t see men or even boys doing in Alaska travel is wearing the ballcap either backwards or sideways. I think there’s probably an unwritten rule against that sort of thing. Ahead of me I now counted 37 ball caps. Non are backwards or even more stupidly sideways.
I’m sitting way back here because my little woman wanted me home and now. As of today I’ve been on the road for 30 straight days.
And part of that payback is getting to sit humbly in a center seat. Without this iPhone and blog I probably wouldn’t make it.
In case you’re interested I usually prefer an aisle seat so that in case of emergency I’m all over it.
There was a time that I flew everywhere armed. It was a job requirement and the most uncomfortable thing you could possibly imagine. Since my holster sat on my left side I always sat on that side of the aircraft. And on top of that you weren’t allowed to sleep. That rule was probably often ignored or broken; it’s been to long now to remember.
What I do remember is that I was once on our agency’s first MP-5 sub machine course. I was traveling with both my weapons. One was on my holstered side and the other in overhead compartment. You’re probably surprised to hear about this but, all these years later after 9/11, you can still do more harm or damage to the body with a box cutter than with an empty weapon.
Earlier on this aircraft I consumed my second meal of the day. A Mediterranean tapas pack and a toddler’s size ginger ale.
Picture a paper box with a few nuts packed into a plastic bag and other similar plastic bagged up items thrown inside. You have to open up each individual item like the hummus, the olives and the chips. And all for $7.50. Enough to keep you entertained and occupied at the same time.
Earlier flight: The woman to my left has finally woken and she has relinquished back parts of my seat that she had appropriated.
In other words there was bodily spillage on her behalf. I didn’t complain about it because she smelled matron like to me and I needed extra cushioning in my center airline seat.
The only way that I could safely fall was face down and into the forward seats tray that sat above as close as one was comfortable with the opposite sex.
On this flight: Two Russians sit next to me. One looks like a Mexican guy with a portly belly and green eyes. The reason I know he’s Russian is because I tried talking to him in Spanish and “no comprendo” should’ve been the expression but, out comes something in Russian.
The second guy looks like a cross between a well groomed US Marine officer and a Secret Service agent. Both ordered two bottles of Vodka from the stewardess with water and ice cubes while I enjoyed opening up five or six plastic packages of a pleasant Mediterranean mix blend and looked on.
We’re all sitting in the emergency exit seats with the extra foot space. Earlier when the stewardess gave us the safety warnings of the Boeings 737-900 and we were required to acknowledge that we would assist the other passengers in opening up the Exit door; neither seemed to understand.
When I responded with YES. They both said something similar but, in a heavily accented way. And since profiling isn’t allowed, or swapping seats, she moved on with her safety briefing.
What I didn’t do since arriving in Alaska is “news”. The world could’ve done this, that, or the other things to itself and I wouldn’t have been at all privy to it. Do I need to know what misfortune occurred to someone or something that will never ever; happen to me half way across an entire country or around the world? If you asked me years ago if I liked football I’d say sure; grab a ball and let’s play. I’m more a participant than a spectator.
What I do like is traveling and being totally aware and immersed into my surroundings. And right now I have a feeling that things around me are going to become different very quickly.
We just landed in Seattle and soon I’ll be changing planes. Technology marches on and that poor baby nearby is still screaming it’s little head off. I would like to do the same thing now but, I’m too old to get away with it. So glad my fishy smelling pants didn’t draw any unexpected attention.
I have done in Alaska what a visitor should: I fished for halibut, enjoyed Alaskan finer cuisine of yak burgers and reindeer meat; flown over, hiked to and even boated to a glacier; enjoyed the northern lights; snow skiied, ridden on a dog sled team. Obviously not all on this journey but, they all seem to now blend in with my previous two trips.
And when I finally get to sit down to television, and begin to unwind from the nearly 24 hours of daylight; that has people like me one moving at a possessed pace, all day long. I can smile and say wow, what a ride!
Welcome back to the lower 48 states. Happy 4th of July and happy birthday Patti. And many more!
And God bless America!
End
Trawlercat Chronicles 