Motorcycle Ride In Alaska Musings Dispatch 1

Alaska Ride News, Vol. 1, Dispatch No. 1 (July 2023), pp. 12/7/2023: Note 1, I highly recommend you pair this dispatch with a favorite drink like perhaps, a cup of coffee, iced tea, a full pitcher of margaritas, a tall one or just plain water. Why you might ask? Because it is long and muy picante. And if all goes as planned in Alaska, I’ll also be seeing the northern lights tonight for my first time.

“According to the University of Alaska at Fairbanks’ Geophysical Institute, The Northern Lights are expected to be seen from Alaska, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, New York, New Hampshire, Vermont, Indiana, Maine and even Maryland, all within the next two weeks. So, perhaps you might even see them before me.

Before my final departure from Southern California, the land of sunshine and year-round weather, open dramatic spaces, beaches and mountains where you can go surf in the morning, snow ski in the afternoon, do Disneyland later. And if you’re still looking for some more adult entertainment there’s Hollywood and nearby Las Vegas. Tom, Kiley and family, if you visit here and that’s not for you; then maybe our foodie’s paradise is more your style such as wine country in nearby Temecula or sample authentic foods like Mexican, Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thailand, Indian or you name it and we have it.

Before reaching terminal 2; I kissed the wife, said my goodbyes, then focused some attention on chocolate lab Lexi. Patti drove me to the airport at 4:00 a.m. like a possessed woman on a mission. And as we got closer to the terminal she says to me; quick jump out! And so I did, but, not before grabbing onto the handle of my wheeled rolling OGIO motorcycle luggage.

My sideways skidding continued, almost until about the time that I made full contact with that Alaska Airlines counter. I was now ready for my return flight back to Anchorage, once again saying; man, what a ride. The baggage police agreed.

Welcome back. On previous dispatches I reported that some of our past riders on Todds Amazing Alaska Ride adventure took literally the words by Hunter S Thompson. He’s both an American author, an enthusiast and an overall wild and crazy guy. He coined the words:

“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy Shit, what a ride!”

Roberto 1,2, and Freddy;

el hombre también dijo

Don’t judge a good taco by the price!

And also: You won’t find reasonable men riding Kawasaki Versys 300’s or on the tops of tall mountains.

Regarding Mountains: it’s nearly impossible or incomprehensible for me to imagine the intense and immense physical and psychological pain and challenges that go with climbing to a mountain top, that could possibly kill you. It’s possibly no different than the way that some people regard our motorcycle travel adventures and riding motorcycles. Do we pick our passions or do they pick us?

Those of us returning for round two are going to be well rested from a glorious two weeks of rest and relaxation. Speaking for myself; our butts are now un-numbed, our hands have full feeling back into them and things missing, broke, lost or forgotten are now replaced.

Sometime before departure I made a quick inventory of our house, I walked into every room and even into my three car garage. For once in my life I can now say that I own more motorcycles than I do shoes.

According to Patti the color has now returned to my face and skin. In other words, for Alaskans it looks like I just returned from a Hawaii vacation.

On our second Alaskan ride I am taking half the gear, clothes and weight that I did on our first trip. John Muir was of a similar mindset. Before setting off into the California woods he would only carry what could fit into his pockets. And likewise if it doesn’t fit into my panniers then it doesn’t go. Infantry men in our country’s fight for independence in 1776 tromped off to fight the British carrying just four pounds of gunpowder and about sixteen pounds of lead. Those men were what I would now say were Alaska tough. Todd and Tom are both from Alaska and agreed that even with a month worth of riding we’re just merely skimming the surface of Alaska.

Our motorcycles are waiting for us at Todds or Tom’s place in Anchorage. Soon we meet up with our wolf pack family of eight additional riders.

Truth is, our first trip was so successful, in fact, there’s really no reason to return for round two. Only you wouldn’t catch me saying anything close to that while in the company of the Lil Bear back home; Keeping the home fires burning.

What this means to “all yee” looking for meaning in words of wisdom. Never take what you have at home for granted. Always making an effort to show how much family means to you. And at times, laugh out loud until your sides start aching.

At home before returning to Alaska and the wolf pack of ten; I oftentimes reminisced about the rides we just did. From previous dispatches:

I probably came the closest. That moose I nearly hit was probably almost as much scared as I.

The weather was unlike anything we have yet to experience. Anything except a tornado was thrown at us. The roads also changed from nice and quiet residential like tarmac to the most horrendous slushy mud that has you slipping and sliding.

Oh and Freddy’s sister Roseanne Roseannadanna won’t be joining us on this ride. If you recall from a previous dispatch she fell for a muy guapo blondy guy from Oregon. Her KTM is still listed on Craigslist if anyone wants it.

I don’t remember banging my knee into anything recently. My scull, specifically the backside of my head feels like it’s been drilled by giant mosquitoes. I felt them attacking the sweat from inside my helmet while we waited to be escorted by a pilot truck to the next part of the road construction.

Back Home: And at other times whilst it was 90-100 degrees outside and a scorcher I stayed inside. Soon I found myself craving that not so nearby Alaskan Fjords glacier. I’m now caught up on all my missed subscriptions to Youtube video channels and my wife is probably on season 8, episode 15 of the Netflix show called Suits. I just realized that is Prince Harry’s wife.

The one video that resonated with me was a documentary film I watched titled Chasing Bubbles. The film from 2008 follows the life of an enigma of a guy, son of an egg tycoon named Alex Rust. On his own he was already a successful futures trader, an engineer, and average Crazy guy, now looking for adventure and a little life escapism. Too bad he didn’t find motorcycles or our Alaskan wolf pack for his itch might’ve been scratched sooner and cheaper.

And so he did what any other manly man who has ever surfed the Craigslist ads and boating category does; he looked for the perfect (cheap) boat to own and imagine himself on an adventure. Not just any adventure but, one that would be epic, like sailing around the world epic. So, with $70k and absolutely no knowledge of sailing, his dream of sailing around the world was made into a reality. Similar in some ways to the wolf pack that I’m now running with.

Ralph to Roberto: So, what are we going to do with the little Kawasaki Versys after this second Alaskan ride?

Roberto 1 to the Universe: Well, maybe it’s something like this quote, that he now forwards to me on WhatsApp.

And so, the real answer to that question my friends is that we don’t need to now know.

We’re not alone. We’ve got our Wolf Pack.

The way this wolf pack works is everyone knows our daily routes and destinations and everyone rides their own ride.

Our Alaskan adventures now from the safety of a couch seem to resemble a little more Star Trek than that tiny submersible Titan submarine that was diving something like 13,000 feet to the ocean floor; just to view the Titanic. And it’s not going to be a Disney ride; insists Todd!

No, our continuing mission will be to explore the strange new parts of Alaska that we haven’t yet experienced.

And are there risks involved Todd?

“There’s some real risk involved here, says Todd, as we’ve talking Alaskan roads, and the wildlife that’s all around. And possibly even a lot of challenges that we haven’t yet seen”

So, Roberto and I, with that insight, foresight and knowledge, before the start of our first ride decided to threw any and all our cautions and challenges out the window and into the wind, and purchased Kawasaki Versys.

Todd pictured something happening to us while underway to places like Coldfoot or Prudoe Bay; similar to what happened to that little submersible submarine that self imploded.

Before the implosion happened there sat those enthusiastic adventurers on the inside of a sub, that to me resembles a Taco. Wearing no shoes, or even a toilet to pee, poop or otherwise, or a dependable heating system, (cold down there) enjoying their epic exploration adventure when suddenly; NOTHING. RIP.

Way more people have now climbed Mt Everest than have ever motorcycled to Alaska from the lower 48 states. Fact!

So, in the end my friends are you a person who owns a sailboat or are you a sailor? Do you now own motorcycles or are you an adventure rider that gets out and rides continuously for weeks at a time? Are you a boat owner or a boater? Do you own fishing rods and reels, do you catch fish or are you a fisherman? You get the point.

An ‘ol sailor now swaggers into a bar.

There’s a ship’s wheel stuffed into the front of his trousers.

The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a ship’s wheel in your trousers!”

The ‘ol sailor says, “Aye mate and it’s driving me nuts!”

There’s a ton of difference involved in those that do and those that like to just talk about doing. For some what we’re now doing may seem as exotic as the Congo to Stanley. (Do I now need to explain this comment, I briefly ponder?).

As in Dr. Livingstone, I presume?” When the stranger answered in the affirmative, Stanley let out a sigh of relief. “I thank God, doctor, I have been saved.”

But hey, who are we to talk. Some of us now get to say that we rode all the way to Alaska from as far away as Mexico City. And some of us are still doing so, and on a six and a seven year old Kawasaki Versys 300 adventure motorcycles.

Have we now shrunk our horizons in any way? Is our itch yet scratched? Todd always kept repeating out loud, and generally looking in my direction when he was trying to sort out the perfect sized motorcycle for Alaskan riders; he said that a BMW GS motorcycle is way too large for the type of roads we planned on riding. And in the end, it just worked itself out to be that it’s not about the machine, as much as it’s about the man doing the riding.

Perhaps he was right about not needing nor wanting to ride something that’s too large. And perhaps no one will ever get to that center of that tootsie roll pop. One thing’s for sure though, is that Todd never said; that our Versys 300 are incapable of keeping up with the wolf pack. Especially when Roberto is happily nipping at the KTM 890’s heels.

We do it for the fun of it. We do it because we can, and therefore, we will. Possum ergo faciam—I can, therefore I will.

Soon we’re on our third week of Alaska riding and before and after each ride Roberto and I are staying with Todd and Tom. We graciously thank you guys for your hospitality and generosity for making this ride possible.

The family Labradoodle dog at Toms home has finally accepted me. I recall on the first night (I never saw it get dark) so, I immediately noticed the present. A sock that Maisy dug up from a bears den placed on my bed pillow. By the third night, since I was still here, she left me a stuffed animal toy.

Judy’s Cafe. This one is a family favorite for breakfast, brunch or lunch. Roberto still hasn’t been able to find his Topo Chico but, he’s slowly adapting to everything else. To quote Charly from Meadville, Missouri. Excellent food!! Bright smiling waitresses and very pleasant experience!! Very friendly, with a homey feeling. Quick service! It’s no surprise the cafe is busy!!

Anchorage has the Motorcycle Shop. Picture an REI for motorcycles or better yet a Home Depot or even a Costco for motorcycles. You arrive at the parking lot and instantly feel like the international community of adventure riders are there waiting for your arrival. In reality the riders are waiting in line for service at $185 per hour.

There’s a certain level of excitement from riders who arrived here by motorcycle. And when you walk inside the place, you see rows and rows of every brand of motorcycle available; except maybe Harley. I don’t think I saw any but, I did talk to a guy riding a Pan American in Fairbanks. He also was from the midwestern state of Missouri. He loved his ride and couldn’t say enough good things about its power to comfort.

For me it was rain gear and additional cold weather gear like mukluks. Mukluks for my handlebars are what I was after. Originally created by the Inuit and Yupik peoples of the Arctic areas of Alaska; an ice machine, Skidoo or dogsled rider came up with a pair for your hands. And now they’re even available for motorcycles. Bet you can’t find one anywhere in the lower 48.

And then you walk upstairs and once again the place outdoes itself; just like the Anchorage Cabela’s store where we obtained our 24 hour fishing license for $15. The store is huge 100,000 sq. ft. with it’s own conservation mountain, waterfall, indoor archery range, Gun Library and wild-game trophies everywhere.

Remember that movie where Tom Hanks played this Eastern European guy from a fictional country that literally gets stuck at JFK Airport in New York. His landing in our country coincides with the point at which a war causes his nation to no longer exist. Thus his paperwork and passport are no good so he can’t leave the airport.

Anchorage Cabalas would be my choice of places to roam freely without the fear of a live moose, grizzly or wolf to confront. They are all stuffed and they are everywhere.

All their employees are so friendly and accommodating that I could easily see the Manager arriving anytime with fresh cinnamon rolls.

Apparently this did happen to an Iranian named Mehran Karimi Nasseri. He just so happens to look exactly like Jim, the street reverend, Jim Ignatowski from Taxi. A sitcom that ran for nearly ten years. Jim was always stoned. and always came up with Jim Ponderisms.

Jim ponders life. He watches the world go out in front of him with a detachment of interest.

Alex Rieger: Jim, are you alright?

Jim Ignatowski: Yeah… who are you?

Alex Rieger: I’m Alex. We’re friends, we work together.

Jim Ignatowski: What are we, lumberjacks?

Alex Rieger: No, we’re cabdrivers.

Jim Ignatowski: I bet we don’t do much business up here!

Louie De Palma: Ignatowski! Where have you been all week?

Jim Ignatowski: I don’t work weekends.

Louie De Palma: You been gone for nine days!

Jim Ignatowski: Yeah…

Tony Banta: Jim, weekends are only two days.

Jim Ignatowski: Oh, I thought we’d switched to the metric system.

Finding a kinship is what it’s all about. We often support and celebrate one another.

When we last saw our beloved Kawasaki Versys 300’s; Roberto and I changed our oil and installed new air filters. In Fairbanks I bought a new racing grade chain suitable for the haul road and Prudoe Bay travel.

At Cheena Hot Springs Derrick with the assistance of John, while gpskevin looked on with words of encouragement and wisdom from many, many, years of replacement chains under his belt supervised the process. There’s no way in hell that this would’ve happened otherwise. There’s a chain breaking tool that came along with the purchase of the new chain. The instructions simply say; next install the master link and then you move on with adjusting the chain tension. Wrong!

The problem is in getting these tinny, tiny rubber washers to fit into the side parts of the master link while at the same time trying to hold and install the side part and tension clip. Derrick figured out that by using the chain breaker tool he could force back the chain pins in the link to give him the needed room to do so. Still it was a considerable effort utilizing all three minds that melted into one to accomplish.

One of the ride apparel changes I made for my senior self was to switch to a leather bomber jacket. Bomber jackets as they are called today were originally called flight jackets. Similar to how we refer today to our crash bars that are really just engine guards.

The US Army Aviation Clothing Board in 1917 created that jacket to keep WWI pilots warm in uninsulated and open-air cockpits of their fighter planes. And so, if it can withstand that cold air at that speed and elevation then I think it’s worth the effort of testing it out and looking rather cool while doing so.

The universe as I now see it, is getting way too complex for me, we are constantly seeing it in a state of change. Everyone has an insightful perspective that they should be able to share, even if it’s not expertly articulated.

To recharge our batteries I would say. We all made a promise to return and so here we are again. Ready, willing and able for round two of our amazing Alaskan Exploration Adventure ride.

In three days we ride to Dawson.

“And let us continue to “toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the ‘good life’, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.” Hunter S Thompson

End