Dispatch from Chiapas Motorcycle Ride Day 14

Do you know that each new day is the first day of the rest of your life; now why is that you might ask? It’s because each new day arrives to you fresh and clean. The Mexican spirits have willed it that way for over 1,000 years. And since this ride is now over for some; (don’t lose that rare Yoda ride sticker you got from Roberto; it’s now worth 10% off your next Mexico ride.)

The Three Amigos!

We eat, we drink, we watch the moving Mexico circus around us; we ride, we fill up our gas tank, we ride some more and sometimes, just sometimes, that special road comes along and we throttle up our game.

So why am I now writing this way? Because as a storyteller it’s now starting to sink in that I am missing my other compadres. Without them I have no material. Without Dale there’s no one breaking any motorcycles, so there goes that story; without Keith and Scott we don’t have any more rare insights into the ancient Mayan gods. Without the firefighters? I know when to say when so I’ll just stop right here and move on to a little three amigos humor. Enjoy the circus.

  • Chevy Chase) “No, we will not die like dogs. We will fight like lions. Because we are –” 
  • (Martin Short) “The Three Amigos.”

To quote Rachel T. Hill; it’s a lot easier to slay that vampire with a stake in the heart than it is to slay demons in our heads provided everything is going our way.

Today team Charlie’s new three amigos (Jefe, Dusty and Ned) also waved adios to everyone and headed to Morelia giving Mexico City a wide as berth as possible.

Soon on Highway xx we start seeing gridlock truck traffic on the toll road into the city. There must’ve been twenty miles of stopped trucks, buses and a few cars mixed in. The further down the way we went the worse it got as people were now out of their vehicles. Joey said he saw a truck fatality. In in opposite lane that we were on, zero, zilch, nada! No vehicles of any kind.

Jefe kept forcing me to twist my throttle to catch up. I drew the line at 120 mph. At one time Dusty was in the zone and was going with it leaving both Jefe and Ned behind. Then the tollbooth came up and Joey pulled up. 246 pesos. Si Senor! What. Each he says! Each motorcycle. Si Senor. That nearly broke the bank. The highest toll paid so far. And then he transformed back to Jefe and says; well at least we weren’t going in the opposite direction like those poor dumb .ucks!

There’s actually a movie about the three amigos if you haven’t yet seen it. In the film, Chase, Short, and Martin play three out-of-work actors who have taken a job to perform for a famous person in Mexico named, El Guapo. What they assume is a show for a Mexican celebrity, is actually a real-life showdown with a cruel Chapo like gang leader.

  • Steve Martin) “Not so fast El Guapo. Or I’ll pump you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil.” 
  • (Alfonso Arau) “What do you mean?” 
  • (Steve Martin) “I don’t know.” 
  • (Tony Plana) “I think he means that if you –” 
  • (Alfonso Arau) “Shut up.” 
  • (Steve Martin) “Well, we’re just gonna have to use our brains.” 
  • (Chevy Chase) “Damn it.” 

There’s different types of space that we experience as a rider; the space between our ears; that’s one; the immediate space around our motorcycles; that’s two; then there’s that space that goes to as far as we are able to see from the road that we are on; that’s four.

The obvious fact is that it’s fun to ride. Some people like Joey and Todd may do it for the adrenaline rush of the speed, others like Keith, Joe, Scott and the firefighters probably more prefer the freedom of the open road.

And in Mexico it just doesn’t get any freer than riding. Not once have we had to filter back our need for speed on account of an imaginary number dictated by the road gods.

  • Loyda Ramos) “Carmen, tonight you are to be El Guapo’s woman. I am going to give you some hints about lovemaking with El Guapo.” 
  • (Patrice Martinez) “I would rather die first.” 
  • (Loyda Ramos) “Tell me, Carmen, do you know what foreplay is?” 
  • (Patrice Martinez) “No –” 
  • (Loyda Ramos) “Good. Neither does El Guapo.”

If you ride it’s the joy of becoming one with your machine. By now if we haven’t become one with our machine then all I’ve got for you is go get in that big shiny car, turn on your favorite music and pretend to ride!

The Amigos
  • Martin Short) “Good night, Lucky. Good night, Dusty.” 
  • (Steve Martin) “Good night, Ned.” 
  • (Chevy Chase) “Good night, Ned.” 
  • (Chevy Chase) “Good night, Lucky.” 
  • (Steve Martin) “Good night, Dusty.”

Viva Los Amigos!


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