Subject: Motocamping 101
Our little Motorcycle Riding group chat thread is developed on a WhatsApp app. All in this fictional ADHD RIDERS group can now communicate, and comment their desires; to also join in on the ride, or do their magic, and unceremoniously derail the entire thread by writing about anything that enters their brain like for example, preferences in motorcycle colors, or women’s bikini bottoms colors?
And in case you earlier missed it, this is a story about a fictional motorcycle riding group for ADHD riders? I apologize for any resemblance to any other group out there. Here’s an example of how our riders go about their day while planning the next ride:
A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. He gets up, finger off the trigger, opens the door a drunken guy, standing in the pouring rain, then asks him for a push.
“Not a chance,”, “it is freaking 3:00 a.m. in the morning!” Get out of here he yells.
He slams the door and goes back to bed.
“Who was that?” asks his do gooder brown eyed wife?
“Just some drunk guy wanting a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is 3:00 a.m. in a “rare” California pouring rain storm!”
Remember now this is a fictional ADHD story and it never rains in California; yet suddenly that tune by Al Stewart pops into my brain about it never raining in southern California. Nothing else now seems to matter.
“Seems I’ve often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in California, but girl don’t they warn ya
It pours, man it pours”.
Well she now says, don’t you remember when your battery died on the Ventura Highway and the temperature was 101 in the shade and you needed a push and someone stopped to help you? You should be ashamed.
Well just like that he gets up out of bed to do as he is told and gets dressed, and goes out into the cold pouring California rain.
He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?”
“Over here I’m on your kids swing.
Now can you feel everyone’s pain on WhatsApp that doesn’t have ADHD but still joined in the conversation. A group chat is great for providing daily insights into people’s lives. However, one can easily that there are those alive today that value their lives, in my humble opinion, just a little bit too much.
For the love of God man; you ride a motorcycle on Los Angeles freeways while splitting lanes at xx mph!
In this fictional motorcycle riding group are also the special requirements folks. You know, the ones with “special needs”, such as, I can’t camp, spend over this amount of money, must be home or depart by this date and time, eat spicy foods, ride on dirt roads or no speaky Spanish?
Our next fictional ADHD Motocamping adventure ride was supposed to be Baja Mexico not Baja California as some of you might still believe. Then a comment or two was made by someone in the group that goes on to chat about personal safety and narco traffickers. Those comments however, surprisingly and eventually settle down to, ok, ok Ill go!
Step 1 or 2 – I now regress – Suddenly, out of nowhere another ride is offered up from Douglas MotoCamping Meetup group. This is a 1,000 mile ride all the way to Cabo from the Tijuana border. And it is free! You just show up ride and eat copious amounts of Mexican food as you travel.
Most of the fictional ADHD riders do not want to ride that far, on account of (THE CONDITIONS) like wanting to stop, smell the roses or cactuses, plus only ride twisty roads but, only on their own conditions.
And then the Baja experienced chime in that they know baja, speak the language, and driven/ridden it multiple times by car, truck and motorcycle but, never at the same time.
And so that’s how our Version 2.0 of the original planned itinerary gets born, to entice the less timid into signing on to the ride.
What no whales someone soon points this little itinerary item out? Our original intent was to ride down Baja way to see the whales.
Only someone, and not the original ride planner (me) did a little research and quickly told the group that the offshore whales don’t arrive until at least February or March and it’s now December. See, I told you that rain was cold!
Step 3 – And so as if by magic, Version 3.0 of the ride itinerary is soon born. A new and revised plan resembling nothing like the original, so as to accommodate the lack of whales and the final two holdouts of our original group.
Now just you stop and pause for a moment at what a beautiful itinerary this is: Dec 26, 2020, cross the border at Tecate; visit the Wine Museum; stroll through the displays that showcase the history of wine production in Baja , since the arrival of the missionaries.
And more! And so my friends, this is how the Fictional ADHD MotoCamping group transitioned from a Baja Ride to a Death Valley ride.
No we are not in Mexico, not on account of the narcos this time but, on account of something you can’t see. Covid 19.
Step 4 – On day one the majority of the group settles down to nearby cabins while some choose to keep up the MotoCamping tradition and pitch tents.
Everyone in the group now carries the obligatory camping gear but, today it’s mostly for show.
Today most adventure motorcycle riders ride all the time with saddlebags. Yes I know we aren’t riding horses but, that’s just what they call these things; with no trunk, you need a place to stow everything like a tent, sleeping bag, clothes, food and drink.
No, it also doesn’t matter what you wear. Most everyone stays in the same clothes for the duration of the trip and we also dine out but, we must carry extra clothes, food, stove, utensils – just in case.
Soon everyone is ready for dinner. Our choices are: Steak and Beer for Prime Rib dinners or we cook. Guess where we ended up.
The temperatures are now starting to drop but, we’re all set up outdoors under a propane heater and a first class rip roaring Cowboy style camp fire. Everyone huddles around the camp fire while sitting behind a table. Somehow it all works out. The brewery growlers arrives. The bbq prime ribs are cooked to perfection, desert desserts are consumed. My cherries jubilee was perfect.
Scientists all seem to agree that the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic is thought to have begun with birds, and HIV with apes and Ebola with bats.
So, what started covid? Puppies. That’s what we agreed upon. Eating puppies! You have got to be kidding? See. Should’ve gone to Mexico!
Soon the locals start to chime in. A woman by the name of Sandra becomes our desert spiritual goddess. She talks to us about the locals hot Springs, the many hiking trails all around, the mysterious night sky. No one asks her one question about what she is talking about except what nationality are you? Seriously! Yes. It’s her beauty that charms us all. Turns out she has a Japanese mother and a wedge like curly hair shape that magically shines with the full moon now 100% out and that rip roaring camp fire. Im now dizzy from that 9% alcohol growler I think I totally consumed.
At some point one of the millions or so viruses circulating in the animal kingdom jumped to a Chinese human and the rest is now of pandemic proportions.
Hey I now say! Similar to this once again, dare I now say it EPIC RIDE!
Thank you Fictional ADHD RIDERS group who all got their COVID-19 shots.
God bless all those with ADHD and god bless America!